Wait Upon the Lord

One evening this week I was feeling particularly discouraged and bound to the sin of this world.  I felt unable to abide in His presence and truly worship Him.  I was desperate that I might dwell in the presence of the Lord--free from the curses that ensnared me.

And I knew that only Jesus Christ could free me from the wrong attitudes I was dealing with.  So I told my family good night and crept into my prayer closet.  There I poured out my heart before the Lord.  I wept at my sin and pleaded for mercy.

Then I paused for a moment.  I will have to admit that my mind wandered for a bit.  I was thinking about someone and how ungrateful I was for their behavior.  Then suddenly (in my mind's eye--or in this case, ear), with anger boiling over from previously placid lips that one said, "Do you not care? Do you not see that I am doing this for you?  Do you not understand how much it huts me but how much I am doing this because I love you?"

Then I knew.  The realization washed over me in a second.

God loved me this way too.

He was at work when all I could see where tatters and mismatched colors, He was weaving together a masterpiece.

I had been crying out to Him as if He did not hear; as if He was not already working.  I had forgotten in my tears that He is the gentle Shepherd and is leading me and filling me with Himself.  My prayers flowed from a belief that He could work and would work, but I disbelieved that He was already at work.

I had been wrong; very wrong.  But He was so merciful.

Before He whispered into my heart, I told the Lord that I would wrestle with Him until He blessed me, but now i saw how wrong I had been.  When I remembered Who He already was and what He was already doing, I was filled with the peace of His presence and the love of His countenance.  The struggle in my heart subsided and was filled with a supernatural peace.

What I had failed to do in that time was wait.  I became inpatient and lost sight of Who He was.  My eyes were turned downward to my own problems instead of upward to Him.  

But when I took the time to wait upon the Lord (after He showed me that He was indeed working), He strengthened my heart.  He comforted me and filled me with a supernatural peace.

All I need to do was wait.  And trust.

When we pray, we must remember to Whom we pray.  We cry out to the Lover of our Souls, the Merciful God, the Prince of Peace, the Good Shepherd.  He is for us, not against us. He longs to purify us to Himself as a pure bride.  But we must wait.  We must throw ourselves upon His alter and allow Him to (in His time) carve away all the impurities and chains of our lives.

Let us not cease to pray.  But let us pray with hope.  Let us wait upon the Lord through prayer by the power of the Holy Spirit.  And daily let us cry, "Lord, teach me to pray."  For we do not know how to pray as we ought.  But He is a faithful Teacher and will not leave our side for a moment.

Before He whispered into my heart, I felt all alone.  I did not remember to wait on the Lord, but rather trusted His presence and His love. But quietly He revealed to me that He did love me. He did care for me.  And He was working in my life.  And He is working in yours as well. Wait on the Lord, my friends.

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!" ~Psalm 27:13-14